1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

9. Don’t dumb it down.

10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

12. Never park in front of a bar.

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

17. Never lie to your doctor.

18. All guns are loaded.

19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.

20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.

23. A handshake beats an autograph.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.

28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

33. It’s never too late for an apology.

34. Don’t pose with booze.

35. If you have the right of way, take it.

36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

38. Never push someone off a dock.

39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.

41. Don’t make a scene.

42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

43. Know when to ignore the camera.

44. Never gloat.

45. Invest in good luggage.

46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.

47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

49. Give credit. Take blame.

50. Suck it up every now and again.

51. Never be the last one in the pool.

52. Don’t stare.

53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

59. Thank the bus driver.

60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

62. Know at least one good joke.

63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

64. Know how to cook one good meal.

65. Learn to drive a stick shift.

66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

68. Dance with your mother/father.

69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

70. Always thank the host.

71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.

73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

75. Keep your word.

76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.

77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.

78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.

79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.

81. You are what you do, not what you say.

82. Learn to change a tire.

83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

85. Don’t litter.

86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.

88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.

89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

90. Make the little things count.

91. Always wear a bra at work.

92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

93. You’re never too old to need your mom.

94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.

95. Know the words to your national anthem.

96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone.

97. Smile at strangers.

98. Make goals.

99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.

A high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words (via grillfriend)

(Source: mar-rs)

(Reblogged from apairofcows)

epsilof:

damfrozencupcakes:

caluummhood:

HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

WORTH IT

i cried?

(Source: onleatherwings92)

(Reblogged from apairofcows)
(Reblogged from apairofcows)
kissmeok:

♡Love/Couples♡

kissmeok:

♡Love/Couples♡

(Reblogged from kissmeok)
(Reblogged from foodnun)

there-was-no-other-sound:

rnultiplayer:

wanna know what a cow looks like washed and blow dried?

image

image

that is what a cow looks like washed and blow dried

FLUFFY MILK HORSE

(Reblogged from apairofcows)
After high school you realize you were only friends with some people because you saw them five times a week.
(via rumour)

(Source: sensxal-bliss)

(Reblogged from deair)

ghostfairys:

the boy i love is the only boy i could write poems about without pretty words describing attraction. i could use grocery list words and make you cry from envy because this is love and this is life and we cried together because we were smashing our bones together but we still weren’t close enough

(Reblogged from ghostfairys)

You’re going to be sad.
You’re going to want to scream and punch things.
Do it.
Let out every ounce of anger you have.
Sit on the floor and cry until you feel numb.
Listen to songs that make your heart sink to your feet.
Write angry letters to all the people who have broken you, left you, ignored you or hurt you.
Throw your hairbrush at the wall.
Do it twelve times.
Do it until you feel like you can breathe again.

You’re going to be sad.
You’re going to want to hurt yourself.
Don’t you dare do it.
Sit on the floor and watch cartoons like you did when you were little.
Listen to songs that make you want to dance around your bedroom in your underwear at 3 A.M.
Make paper airplanes out of those angry letters and watch them soar into the fireplace.
Brush all the knots out of your hair and say “I am worth it” into the mirror.
Say it twelve times.
Say it until you feel like you can breathe again.

You’re going to be sad.
You’re going to get through it.

(Reblogged from responsiblity)
As I lit my cigarette, you said ‘you know, smoking is bad for you’ and all I did was smile. It’s not what I wanted to do, it’s just what kind of happened. I wanted to tell her. I wanted so badly to say ‘so is falling for you’ but it’s too late, and I’m still lighting these cigarettes. I’m not falling for you anymore, I’m trying to forget — you probably don’t care what’s good and bad for me anymore.
Bad For Both Of Us - hefuckin (via hefuckin)
(Reblogged from behindthedrawnonmask)
forever-in-my-arms:


the higher I get, the lower I sinkI can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim








~

forever-in-my-arms:

the higher I get, the lower I sink
I can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim

~

(Source: xasiralx)

(Reblogged from forever-in-my-arms)

knightscrest:

my greatest dream is to swim in an ocean of orange soda. it is a fanta sea.

(Reblogged from rainismyremedy)

voodooqueer:

Me: mom, can I have 5 dollars?

Mom: how do you plan to earn it?

Me: 

image

(Source: versacefag)

(Reblogged from maritzaamezcua1)
stereksextape:


Blow them

Okay, sign. Whatever you say.

stereksextape:

Blow them

Okay, sign. Whatever you say.

(Reblogged from maritzaamezcua1)
(Reblogged from the-personal-quotes)